A BIT OF HUMOR

When I was a kid adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes 
about how hard things were when they were growing up.
 
What with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill both ways 
through year 'round blizzards carrying their younger siblings on their backs to 
their one-room schoolhouse where they maintained a straight-A average despite 
their full-time after-school job at the local textile mill where they worked for 
35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death!
 
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up there was no way I was going 
to lay that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
 
But ...
 
Now that I've reached the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around 
and notice the youth of today.
 
You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a Utopia! 
And I hate to say it but you kids today don't know how good you've got it!
 
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know 
something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves!
 
And there was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter, with a pen! 
And then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox 
and it would take like a week to get there!
 
And there were no MP3s or Napsters! If you wanted to steal music, you had to go 
to the record store and shoplift it yourself! Or, we had to wait around all day 
to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and 
mess it all up!
 
You want to hear about hardship?
 
We didn't have fancy stuff like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and 
somebody else called, they got a busy signal!
 
And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no 
idea who it was, it could be your boss, your Mom, a collections agent, you 
didn't know!!!
 
You just had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
 
And we didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation videogames with high-resolution 
3-D graphics!
 
We had the Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids"! Your 
guy was a little square! You had to use your imagination! And there were no 
multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever!
 
And you could never win, the game just kept getting harder and faster until you 
died!
 
Just like LIFE!
 
When you went to the movie theater, there was no such thing as stadium seating! 
All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy sat in front of you, you 
watched his hairstyle!
 
And sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 20 channels 
and there was no onscreen menu! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide 
to find out what was on!
 
And there was no Cartoon Network! You could only get cartoons on Saturday 
morning... D'ya hear what I'm saying!?!
 
We had to wait ALL WEEK!
 
That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. 
You're spoiled!
 
You guys wouldn't last five minutes back in 1984!

[forwarded by www.SermonFodder.com]

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Have you noticed that when someone says "To make a long story short..." it's 
generally too late?

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