A BIT OF HUMOR

PRAISE CHORUSES vs HYMNS: Two Stories

Story #1:

An old farmer went to the city and attended a big city church.

He came home and his wife asked him how it was.

"Well," said the farmer, "it was good. They did something different, however. 
They sang praise choruses instead of hymns."

"Praise choruses?" said his wife, "What are those?"

"Oh, they're okay. They're sort of like hymns, only different."

"Well, what's the difference?" asked the wife.

The farmer said, "Well, it's like this. If I were to say to you, 'Martha, the 
cows are in the corn.' Well, that would be a hymn. If on the other hand, I was 
to say to you, 'Martha, Martha, Martha, Oh Martha, MARTHA, MARTHA, the cows, the 
big cows, the brown cows, the white cows, the black and white cows, the COWS, 
COWS, COWS, are in the corn, are in the corn, are in the corn.' Well that would 
be a praise chorus."

Story #2:

A young, new Christian went to his hometown one weekend and attended the small 
church there. He came home and his wife asked him how it was. 

"Well," said the young man, "It was good. They did something different, however. 
They sang hymns instead of regular chorus songs."

"Hymns," said his wife, "what are those?"

"Oh, they're okay. They're sort of like regular songs, only different."

"Well, what's the difference?" asked his wife.

The young man said, "Well, it's like this. If I were to say to you, 'Martha, the 
cows are in the corn.' Well, that would be a regular song. If, on the other 
hand, I were to say to you:
O Martha, dear Martha, hear thou my cry
Inclinest thine ear to the words of my mouth.
Turn thou thy whole wondrous ear by and by,
To the righteous, inimitable, glorious truth.
For the way of the animals who can explain
There in their heads is no shadow of sense,
Hearkenest they in God's sun or his rain
Unless from the mild, tempting corn they are fenced.
Yea, those cows in glad bovine, rebellious delight,
Have broke free their shackles, their warm pens eschewed.
Then goaded by minions of dark and night
They all my mild Chilliwack sweet corn hath chewed.
So look to that bright shining day by and by,
Where all foul corruptions of earth are reborn.
Where no vicious animal makes my soul cry
And I no longer see those foul cows in the corn. Amen.'"

He continued, "Then, if I were to do only verses one, three, and four, and do a 
key change on the last verse, well, that would be a hymn."

[forwarded by Jason Scott Vawter]

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The bumper sticker that should have been on Noah's ark: Visualize World 
Judgment. 

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