A BIT OF HUMOR

WHAT THE AIRLINES HAVE TAUGHT ME ABOUT MARRIAGE
By Laurie Polich Short 

Can we talk?

I feel like I'm in a bad marriage with United Airlines. I've been with them for 
25 years, flown 1,245,000 miles, and most of the time it feels like they don't 
know I'm alive. In our first years together, they treated me like a queen. On my 
flight coming up this weekend, I may end up in the luggage bin. A "technical 
error" caused them to give away my seat.

Admittedly this is a first world problem. My friend Ephraim who lives in Haiti 
doesn't spend time thinking about service on airlines. He's got bigger things to 
think about like helping people eat. I try to think about that every time I look 
at the upgrade list and see that with my million mile status, I am #25 on the 
list.

On the grand scheme of things, a relationship with an airline is not something 
that should bother me. But when you've been committed to someone, it's 
disheartening when you feel cast aside. So here are some things I've learned 
from my relationship with United that I will use to keep the spark in my 
marriage:

- When you put your spouse on hold, don't try to placate them by singing the 
same old song. Especially when it's the same 5 bars you have been playing for 25 
years.

- The longer you are together, the more bags you should be allowed.

- Don't send a card through UPS celebrating the years you've been together. Save 
the money and give your marriage an upgrade instead.

- Don't send them to another country when they call. They'll recognize the 
accent. Instead, fly them there for a prepaid vacation.

- When your spouse is checking in, don't send them to a machine. Extend human 
contact so they remember who they are married to.

- After 25 years, carry on bags are not only allowed, they are encouraged. There 
should be plenty of space for them.

- Don't spend all your money on pleasing the CEO. Your spouse has been with you 
longer and helped get you where you are.

- Money may be important, but loyalty keeps you together.

- Have the kind of marriage your spouse will talk to others about. Without 
swearing.

Like I said, in the grand scheme of things, a relationship with an airline is 
not something to lose sleep over. But these are things to think about in the 
relationships that are important to you. Especially if you want to keep them.

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Reprinted with permission from Laurie's blog, Finding Our Faith in the Dark: 
http://blog.lauriepolich.com/

Copyright 2013 Laurie Short. Permission is granted to send this to others, with 
attribution, but not for commercial purposes.

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