My all time favorite saying used by my Granny during my childhood is "SPARE THE ROD SPOIL THE CHILD." Sixty four years ago people certainly didn't spare the rod, spoil the child, trust me that rod, in the form of a plum tree switch, was used quite often. For you "youngens" let me explain the plum tree switch. Naturally it comes from the plum tree and is very flexible and will wrap around the object of its intended victim. If swung with the right amount of force it will cut the blood right out of you. Please don't worry, I don't see these plum trees growing anymore and would think long and hard before using one on another. Atlas those days are gone and the new motto of today's world is "forget the rod, spoil the child."
No, this isn't going to be a trip down memory lane, however, I am going to show you in the Bible what God says about sparing and spoiling even tho the phrase "spare the rod and spoil the child" isn't in there the following scriptures all refer to it.
Proverbs 13:24
He who withholds his rod hates his son,
But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.
He acts as if he hated his child, who, by false indulgence, permits sinful habits to gather strength, which will bring sorrow here, and misery hereafter. We should diligently seek for him all useful discipline. To the education of children in that which is good there is necessary a due correction of them for what is amiss; every child of ours is a child of Adam, and therefore has that foolishness bound up in its heart which calls for rebuke, more or less, the rod and reproof which give wisdom. It is his rod that must be used, the rod of a parent, directed by wisdom and love, and designed for good, not the rod of a servant. It is good to begin early, speedily and at all times with the necessary restraints of children from that which is evil, before vicious habits are confirmed. The branch is easily bent when it is tender. Those who really hate their children, though they pretend to be fond of them, that do not keep them under a strict discipline, and by all proper methods, severe ones when gentle ones will not serve, make them sensible of their faults and afraid of offending. They abandon them to their worst enemy, to the most dangerous disease, and therefore hate them. Let this reconcile children to the correction their good parents give them; it is from love, and for their good.
Proverbs 22:15
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;
The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.
Foolishness ~ He is naturally given to it. Bound ~ Is fixed and settled there, as being born with him, and rooted in his very nature. Chastisement leads to reformation of principle. Sin is foolishness, it is in the heart, there is an inward inclination to sin: children bring it into the world with them; and it cleaves close to the soul. We all are corrected by our heavenly Father so we should do with our own children. Why? Because He loves us more than we love our own children.
We have here two very sad considerations:— 1. That corruption is woven into our nature. Sin is foolishness; it is contrary both to our right reason and to our true interest. It is in the heart; there is an inward inclination to sin, to speak and act foolishly. It is in the heart of children; they bring it into the world with them; it is what they were shapen and conceived in. It is not only found there, but it is bound there; it is annexed to the heart vicious dispositions cleave closely to the soul, are bound to it as the scion to the stock into which it is grafted, which quite alters the property. There is a knot tied between the soul and sin, a true lover's knot; they two became one flesh. It is true of ourselves, it is true of our children, whom we have begotten in our own likeness. 2. That correction is necessary to the cure of it. It will not be got out by fair means and gentle methods; there must be strictness and severity, and that which will cause grief. Children need to be corrected, and kept under discipline, by their parents; and we all need to be corrected by our heavenly Father, and under the correction we must stroke down folly and kiss the rod.
Proverbs 23:13-14
Do not hold back discipline from the child,
Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die.
You shall strike him with the rod
And rescue his soul from Sheol.
It is a likely way to prevent his destruction. While there is little danger that the use of the "divine ordinance of the rod" will produce bodily harm, there is great hope of spiritual good. Here is a parent instructing his child to give his mind to the Scriptures. Here is a parent correcting his child: accompanied with prayer, and blessed of God, it may prove a means of preventing his destruction. Here is a parent encouraging his child, telling him what would be for his good.
A tender parent can scarcely find in his heart to do this; it goes much against the grain. But he finds it is necessary; it is his duty, and therefore he dares not withhold correction when there is occasion for it (spare the rod and spoil the child); he beats him with the rod, gives him a gentle correction, the stripes of the sons of men, not such as we give to beasts. The rod will not kill him; nay, it will prevent his killing himself by those vicious courses which the rod will be necessary to restrain him from. For the present it is not joyous, but grievous, both to the parent and to the child; but when it is given with wisdom, designed for good, accompanied with prayer, and blessed of God, it may prove a happy means of preventing his utter destruction and delivering his soul from hell. Our great care must be about our children's souls; we must not see them in danger of hell without using all possible means, with the utmost care and concern, to snatch them as brands out of everlasting burnings. Let the body smart, so that the spirit be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.
Proverbs 29:15
The rod and reproof give wisdom,
But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.
Suffered to follow his own will without restraint and chastening does and will bring shame to the mother. Parents must consider the benefit of due correction, and the mischief of undue indulgence.
Parents, in educating their children, must consider, 1. The benefit of due correction. They must not only tell their children what is good and evil, but they must chide them, and correct them too, if need be, when they either neglect that which is good or do that which is evil. If a reproof will serve without the rod, it is well, but the rod must never be used without a rational and grave reproof; and then, though it may be a present uneasiness both to the father and to the child, yet it will give wisdom. 2. The mischief of undue indulgence: A child that is not restrained or reproved, but is left to himself, to follow his own inclinations, may do well if he will, but, if he take to ill courses, nobody will hinder him; it is a thousand to one that he proves a disgrace to his family, and brings his mother, who fondled him and humored him in his licentiousness, to shame, to poverty, to reproach, and perhaps will himself be abusive to her and give her ill language.
I raised five precious, wonderful children using this same technique and they have never been an embarrassment to me. They are my comfort in my old age. Thank you Jesus.
God's Blessings to each of you,
LJG/rECj
SCRIPTURE OF THE DAY
Hebrews 12:5 & 6
5and ye have forgotten the exhortation which reasoneth with you as with sons, My son, regard not lightly the chastening of the Lord, Nor faint when thou art reproved of him; 6For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, And scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.